Me

O.k so i hate writing about myself but i realised i'm not going to get more follows if i don't start writing more and also telling you about myself and my children.
I think i'm going to do a basic outline off everything i have been through and just put a bit about them and i will put more details on at a later date. I am going to start writing this blog most days as loads happen to me from fantastic to bad and some just pure weird. I may only be 29 but i have been through so much in one lifetime more than anyone should and all before i hit 30.

O.k so 1st i come from a broken home my mum left my dad when i was 5 i have a younger sis and bro my mum went off with another man who she later married. My dad took years to find love again he used to take us to a group called Gingerbread where he found love again at 1st us kid's loved our new step dad and step mum we were spoilt rotten (one of the many joys off a broken home) all this time we lived with our dad he got many suspicious looks as when he was single and raising 2 girls they didn't think about him raising my brother. However i have to say my dad did a fantastic good job better when he was single than with his now ex wife the one after my mother, yes we have had major falling's out and i didn't talk to him for over a year once i was older more about that later though that was fun not.

o.k so as i have said both my parent's got re-married and all was well and good for a couple off years then i hit teenage years yep DUM DE DUM lol. The teenage years started out fun sneaking out to nappie nights (18 under's club) seeing friends etc. Then the trouble started which would set the path for my life. My ex step mother who myself and friends referred to and still refer to as the wicked witch off the north, south, east and west, started hitting me and my brother i wore so much make up to cover my BLACK EYE for a school photo once i needed to have a belt taken to me for wearing make up doesn't make sense i know considering what i was covering up. At this time my dad was at work all time and if he wasn't at work he was at the pub (he still does that now pub then work and at weekends shop then pub). Myself and my brother who is younger than me bore the brunt off it my sister was the apple off her eye along with her own son. Then one night i went to a nappie night and the next day i moved up to live with my mum (nappie night another story). I was so happy after my dad and the witch i thought new place, new start and new school you see my mum lives's 3 hours away and i thought heaven. I was so excited but 1 nightmare turned into a even worse nightmare.

I was RAPED by my step dad at the age off 15 it went on for 17 months. I became so withdrawn and didn't tell anyone, then i confided in one off good friends she then told an adult

and i cannot re-pay her enough for helping me even though at the time i didn't thank her. I have blanked out most off it but needless to say it is something that i live with everyday off my life. What did help is that when it was finally disclosed he was charged and it went to crown court and he was found guilty on 10 counts off rape and sentenced to 12 years (more about this another time) however what i will say this is when my DEPRESSION started. After this i went off the rails and didn't care what i was doing and who i was hurting and that is how BOW came about she has no contact with her dad that's a long story he has never seen her though. I credit falling pregnant with BOW with saving me but that bought me on my next chapter.

 Becoming a TEENAGE PARENT as we called it then however there now called YOUNG MUM'S (prefer this name sounds so much better) i fell pregnant at 17 but found out a couple off weeks after my 18th birthday. Then i started dating the person who i though was the love off my life turns out he wasn't. At 1st he was fantastic when we were friends he came to ante-natal appointments with me he was the same age as me then after BOW was born we started dating then i fell pregnant.

ANDREW my angel baby i was so happy but we were both scared we were both only 19 at that time BOW had just had her 1st birthday. However things soon took a turn for the worse with my pregnancy my waters broke at 17 wks turns out i had CMV early in pregnancy which caused alot off problems and unfortunately he never made it i gave birth to him in 2002 and he passed away before he was born and we buried him 1 week after my 20th birthday. Our relationship didn't survive however before i left him i fell pregnant again with BUG who has his own problems.

Thinks that's enough for now i'll write some more tomz along with a happier blog about BOWS pgl trip she's coming home today and i need to go and pick her up now.